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Vol. # 27 That’s how I see it!


It's been a month or more since I sat down to put together the "That's how I see it!" newsletter and I am glad to be back. I had a wonderful time in the Cayman Islands visiting our son Brad and relatives. I particularly enjoyed this trip (besides the obvious of being with people I love and care about) as I didn't injure myself on the way down. Perhaps you remember last April I made the same trip through Toronto and injured myself trying to save grandson Connor from being squashed between a pole and the ground elevator. I tripped and torn muscles in my chest and shoulder. No golf for three months-I was nearly a depressed person.

This time I spent my days in the Caymans while Brad was at work writing, working on some music, and golfing-18 out of 21 days. My wife, daughter and grandkids didn't come on this trip so I had plenty of time to think, write, golf, get to the ocean and on some days do very little. Aren't these the things your supposed to do when on holidays?

I am always glad to go on a holiday and I am always glad to return home.

 What you'll find in this weeks newsletter: an old pet peeve of mine-Calendar Health; It's All About Anger; you might enjoy Seniors Humour even if your not a senior; test yourself on The Quiz; a Weighty Problem in a weight conscious society; and My Last Trip to Costco that will crack you up.

This is an article I wrote quite a few years ago when I did a lot of work with clients who were on Long Term Disability. As you can see in the article I was very frustrated with the treatment of my clients by the insurance system and, at times, by certain individuals who had power to make decisions that could help my client or be best for the insurance vendor.

Calendar Health

There is a new therapy that has been introduced by insurance venders that can change the clients/patients health simply by identifying a date on a calendar and then stating that at some time in the future-- You will be healthy by this date! Whether or not the individual is truly healthy at this time is not really the issue, the feeling of the vendor is, they should be-You have had enough time according to our adjustors, even if we never return your calls or meet with you, we know that all persons are the same and heal at the same rate and therefore should be treated the same, we know what is best for you! So, the message is never mind what your team of doctors' thinks, pay attention only to your adjustor and the calendar.
     Counsellors, therapists, psychologists throw away all your fancy therapies, your cognitive/behavioural treatments and just get yourself a calendar! As for you medical doctors, you will stay honoured and revered by the vendor only as long as you keep the pills flowing and agree with the Calendar Health Therapy theory. Disagree with the date and defend your patient and you to will understand the frustration of being ignored. As for medication, doctors suggest medications only when they believe it is in the best interests of their patients, insurance vendors have a blanket belief that everybody should be on medication whether or not it truly is in the best interests of the client. According to some theories/studies, clients return to work sooner if they are on medication. The studies seem to be about getting back to work not necessarily about getting healthy. Oh, and if the client (not a person) is not on medication, they obviously are not cooperating and could be jeopardizing their LTD support.

What then is the process for this new therapy, this Calendar Health? Two parts: 1) Get the client to the various helpers (doctor, counsellor, psychiatrist, and psychologist) and ask them to do their expert thing. 2) Set a date on the calendar and decide when the person will be well or at least when the tone of the system will change from being helpful to threatening, despite what the helpers think.

You have until this date to get well, after that we believe your not sick and it is in your best interests to go back to work. To motivate your getting well, we the insurance vendor will insist that you prove, once again, that you are sick and we will decide whether or not YOUR team of expert helpers (that WE encouraged you to see) should have a say in this process and we will decide on this after we have read their reports and if we don't like what they say, we will send you to someone else who's reports we do like better. Or we just won't ask some of the medical team who's reports might suggest that the Calendar Health Therapy is not an accurate way of determining this particular clients return to health.

It is felt in some insurance circles that threatening, bullying and treating clients disrespectfully as the date on the calendar gets close is a perfectly acceptable way to show how much they care and believe that if only you get back to work by this date---you will get healthier sooner. For most clients this is an extremely sad and disappointing moment when they realize the people working for THEIR insurance plan are no longer supporting THEIR return to health but rather are looking for ways to terminate them from THEIR plan. At this point clients often get very angry or the added stress manifests itself in a return to depression like symptoms, similar to when they first asked for help.

At a weak moment, I can somewhat understand the "bean counters" working for the insurance companies, who's job it is to be fiscally responsible and not compassionate or fair to sick people. However, the people I find most deplorable are those who are assigned the role of "advocate of the client" and who bond with the client and then align themselves with the insurance company to practise, just as vigorously as the "bean counters", the principles of Calendar Health. Shame on you false advocates for putting strokes and kudos from the insurance folks ahead of your clients! Shame on you for letting the system (and some who work for this system really enjoy this part of the job) bully and threaten clients with "cutting them off" if they are not aren't well by the "magic" time on the calendar. Most people are basically good and need to be supported and encouraged, not threatened and made to feel unworthy, particularly by those who profess to be their advocates.

   Over my 45 years in working with people I have had many clients who were made much sicker by the treatment of individuals working in HR and for insurance companies. The clients did not get the help they needed and were harassed when they did not respond by returning to work within certain timelines set by their insurance vendor or take drugs they did not agree they needed. I do believe this has changed greatly and the majority of HR and insurance companies have become much more client-centered. However, there still exists in some organizations individuals who take it as a personal affront when employees get sick or overwhelmed and have to go on Sick Leave-just pull up your socks and get back to work- I do! And it can get very difficult for the client who does not respond to a prescribed drug treatment plan or does not get better according to their timeline.

Please comment on what you have experienced or someone close to has in regards to treatment by insurance and LTD Plans (both + and - experiences) (

Smoking sections in a restaurant makes as much sense as peeing sections in a swimming pool

All About Anger

The following information comes from Carol Tavris's book Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion

There are different "anger languages." One of the four can be furiously, volcanically angry, which is intimidating to a calm or person, but he never says anything unfair or cruel; he blows up and then it's forgotten. Another is more easy-going; he is rarely angry and has trouble expressing it when he is; his style is to accumulate his grievances, sometimes for years, and then spit them all over your face. The third anger language is quick to express anger and moral outrage. When she is angry, she says anything that comes to mind, because she believes that anger is safe and empowering. She doesn't hold herself accountable because things said, in her mind, "in the heat of anger" don't really count. The fourth language is slow to anger, but once angry, equally slow to forgive and forget. Accusations and harsh words are taken literally, brooded over, and remembered for a long time.

So, which anger language are you?

Seniors Humour

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf
one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy,
isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied,
'it's Thursday.' And the third man chimed in,
'So am I. Let's have a beer.'


A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a
nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of
her nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to
an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him,
she said, 'Supersex...' He sat silently for a moment
or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'

The Quiz

Born in 1910, a woman named Anjeze Gonxhe Bojaxhiu became famous in India under what name?

What recent conflict is known as "the Mother of All Battles" in one of two countries where it was fought?

Described as a "Victoria Mona Lisa," the 1871 work of art known as "Arrangement in Grey and Black No.1" is better known by what name?

The international Mother's Day Shrine is located in which country?

In what year does Ted start telling his children the story of how he met his wife in the sitcom "How I Met Your Mother?"

Who are the only mother and daughter to have each one a Nobel prize?

 A Weighty Problem

Our weight-conscious society has sent out the message that thin is in, and our children are listening. A survey of nearly 500 girls found that up to 50% of nine-year-olds and up to 80% of 10-year-olds have a fear of fatness, or have already dieted or indulged in binge eating, according to researchers at the University of California at San Francisco. But only 15% are actually overweight.

In another study, a research team at Iowa State University in Ames reported that of 457 fourth graders, 60% of the girls and nearly 40% of the boys wished they were thinner. ,

At any given moment, more than half of all adult women in the U.S. are trying to lose weight. And when celebrities boast about losing weight or when bone-thin models are presented as ideal images, even children pay attention.

"Kids imitate adult behaviour," says Dr. Margo Maine, program but director of the eating disorders unit at the Institute of Living in Hartford, Connecticut. "When kids live in families in which people are constantly dieting and unhappy with their bodies, it makes body-image problems more severe."

But when young children diet, the results can be disastrous. If kids don't consume enough essential nutrients while dieting, their growth could be
stunted and they could be permanently harmed. And although full-blown eating disorders generally don't develop until adolescence, research suggests unhealthy eating patterns take root in early childhood.

Adults can help kids maintain a positive body image by taking these tips:

      • Set an example by accepting your own body and maintaining a realistic attitude about weight control.
      • Talk to kids about the pressure they get  from TV to attain a "perfect" body.
      • Praise your children's inner qualities, special talents and personal values and minimize the importance of physical beauty.


Quiz Answers

Mother Teresa; First Gulf War; Whistler's Mother; United States;2030; Marie and Irene Joilot-Curie


Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Lucy and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that  the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.

The worst time to have a heart is when you're playing charades!

 Thank-you for reading and occasionally giving your opinion on the content of the newsletter. Is there anything you particularly like or dislike in the content or format of the newsletter (keep in mind my limited ability on the computer). Has anybody come across any of the "And Thats When The Fight Started" jokes?--please send them in.