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Midweek #3

 Good news (set time aside)

Monday, August 14, 8-11 am and 4-9 pm at Shapes (Garden City) has invited me to share my two books with members. So, if you have ever wanted to see what a Shapes facility is like and, of course, pick up your free copy of "Communication & Relationships", then come say hello.

Put me in your book, computer, smart phone, tablet, piece of paper in your left pocket, but do drop by.

"Finding Balance", "Communication & Relations

Books, that I am aware of, that have a similar style to my books include "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff..." by Dr. Richard Carlson, Hyperion, 1997; "Chicken Soup For The Soul" by Jack Canfield and Mark Hansen, Health Communications, 1993; and "Living On The Couch" by Dr. Irving D. Yalom, Basic Books, 1996.

Dr. Yalom's book comes particularly to mind because he writes about the same topic as I do--the happenings in therapy. He is a master storyteller and writes for therapists. I have come to write for ordinary people who need to discover hips"

different ways of improving their relationships and lives. Being a fly on the wall in the therapist's office holds great fascination for people and they seek to read books in this area. The potential for learning different options to dealing with their own issues is enticing.

My first book, "I can have fun on a school night!" was originally written for people in the Helping Professions (teachers, nurses, social workers, counsellors, etc.) as was Dr. Irving Yalom. However, over the years with many rewrites and six reprints, I realized the concepts in the book applied to most everybody and so the new title Finding Balance: 101 concepts for taking better care of self (American publisher-Authorhouse convinced me of this title), reflects that change.

Most of the concepts, insights, and stories in the book are the result of the creative interaction between my clients and myself. Time in therapy has often been reduced by an on-target teaching concept, such as those that fill the pages of this book. These concepts help 'cut to the chase' inviting understanding and insight with a minimum of verbiage.

(See testimonials for Finding Balance: 101 concepts for taking better care of self: under Site Navigation)


Today a Choice, Tomorrow a Lifestyle

Behavior, or what we actually do, comes from the ability and the
right to make a choice. We can choose to work out or not work out.
I can phone somebody that I need to phone or choose not to phone
them. Pay bills or not pay bills. None of this is extremely profound, but
it is interesting, particularly if we understand that many people don't
feel they have the ability, right, or opportunity to make choices. Even if
I don't consciously use my power and right to choose, I am still
choosing. To choose to do nothing is still a choice.

I've discovered that if I don't make a conscious choice to do or not
do something in three consecutive days-if I just let it go, or if I
procrastinate in making a choice-I am, in effect, still making a choice
for a different kind of lifestyle. Can I choose not to go for a walk today?
Sure, it's a choice, but it's not a lifestyle change. My lifestyle can still
include walking. The second day, can I choose not to go walking? Yes,
because I still haven't taken walking out of my lifestyle. However, if on
the third day I choose not to go walking, I have made a commitment,
a definite move into the area of changing a lifestyle.

So, do we want the choice of not working out on a certain day or
eating a piece of chocolate cake every once in a while or just relaxing
and not driving ourselves so hard on certain days? Yes! But I warn careful what you choose, because as innocent, pleasant, or
necessary as it may seem, before you know it, in just three days, it can
become a permanent lifestyle change.

It is also important for you to remember that when making changes,
what you start doing is more important than what you stop doing

Remember-three consecutive days begins a new lifestyle habit.

Dr. Dan Rosin is the author of "Finding Balance" and his newest book "Communication & Relationships".
For more information see: He can be reached at
(204) 299-9399 or

Winnipeg Fringe Festival 2017

"Resilient"-a musical review of an adoptee's fight for her identity

Where: Pantages Playhouse

When: Thursday, July 27-10:30 p.m.
             Saturday, July 29-3:15 p.m.
My good friend, Frank Adamson, is directing this musical and I'd like as many of you that can make it, to support him and this year's Fringe Festival.
For $10 it's easily the best entertainment value in town.

Concept from "Communication & Relationships"

Light Your Lamp

My client was just leaving after an hour's session that focused on
her flagging relationship. As I walked her to the door, I felt
compelled to say:

If you need another person to light your lamp-to
make you feel good about yourself-and your light
doesn't come from inside of you, then you have
given your personal power away. The other person
will realize what you have done and will either
abuse you, leave you, or most assuredly have no
respect for you.

She looked at me like she had been hit with a ton of bricks,
and then thanked me!

In the past, she had ended many relationships "before they
did"-her exact words. Now she was contemplating her current
relationship, where she felt cared for but didn't believe it would
last. She thought perhaps it was time to end it.

It seemed to me that the outcomes of her relationships always
followed the same two patterns-either she felt cared for by
someone but didn't believe that this caring relationship would last
and so she ended it, or she did not feel cared for, worked harder at
making the relationship work, and ended up feeling angry with
the other person for having treated her poorly. She also felt angry
with herself for putting up with the poor treatment.

She repeatedly created a destructive, "no win" cycle through
these patterns, such that her self-esteem was so low that she did
not see herself as a worthy person. She was afraid of being hurt
and believed that "it was her fate to be treated badly". And so, she
was getting ready to run, again.

What I said to her at the door about lighting her own lamp
seemed to resonate. When you start loving yourself, and you are
"in charge" of taking care of yourself, then you will stop being so
dependent on others, stop being so afraid of being hurt, and learn
to love someone else. You will then have the confidence to know
you can handle whatever arises-be it positive or negative-and
not have to run away.
          Be "in charge" of your own self-esteem.
                     Light your own candle.

Would it be too much to ask for you to share Midweek with others on your email list?
     Midweek copies #1 & #2 can be found at