You are here

Newsletter Vol. #90 Thats How I See It!

If you're in the neighbourhood, join me on Wednesday, February 28 at the Shapes Fitness Centre on Mc Philips (8 am-8 pm). I am still giving away "Free" copies of my new, yet to be released book, Communication & Relationships. Pick up your copy!

I do hope this is a valid request sent to me by Mike Judson. Thank you, Mike.
Please tell all the contacts in your messenger list not to accept Jayden K. Smith friendship request. He is a hacker and has the system connected to your Facebook account. If one of your contacts accepts it, you will also be hacked, so make sure that all your friends know it. Thanks.

So here's a real shocker for you, "Marriages are not made in heaven!"

That's right, they don't just happen. People make them happen by the choices and sacrifices they make over the years they spent together working out their differences. Marriages that last are based on hard work and a commitment to caring about each other.

Love is not a feeling; it's a commitment-a commitment to reach out, even when you don't feel like it. This decision to love doesn't depend on the other person's response; it's a choice on your part. I can't tell you how many times in sessions with couples that I have had to explain-- it doesn't matter what your partner does; you stay true to your commitment to work on this relationship: to work on being kind, generous, patient; in other words, a good partner. Like all commitments, marriage/relationships involve self-sacrifice as well as taking the risk to love with no guaranteed outcome.

The key to the health of any loving relationship is communication. Marriage is no exception. If you want to maintain a strong and vibrant relationship over the years, you need to talk with each other regularly and openly about your commitment and the issues that affect it. Marriage requires attention and maintenance to weather life's storms. Listening and sharing in a positive, caring atmosphere enhances the healthfulness of both parties.

I definitely believe the key to a successful relationship begins with communication. In my work with couples, I almost always begin our work with what I call Communication 101. That is a one or two session workshop on communication with the couple. Couples know a lot about communication and may even practice good communication skills at the workplace, but are lacking, or don't practice those same skills in their interpersonal relationships. They may learn something new in the communication workshop, and are certainly reminded to apply what they do know in their relationship at home.  Dan

I borrowed some interesting statistics from an old 2007 Maclean's Magazine article. (See what you think still holds true 11years later): In Canada, the only age group that is seeing a rise in divorce is people over 50. The overall divorce rate, which hovers around 38 per cent, declined 11 per cent between 1993 and 2003. Yet it rose 34 per cent for those 50 to 54; 47.8 per cent for those 55 to 59; 31.7 per cent for those 60 to 64; and 9.2 per cent for those 65 and older. Internationally, the divorce rate among those over 65 has doubled since 1980.
What do you think these statistics are saying about the institution of marriage?
Do you think this trend has changed much in the last 11 years?

Is it better to be unmarried than in a bad relationship?
What constitutes a bad relationship?
What are the consequences of separating at any age in the lifecycle?

What do you think? Drop me an email at

I love being over 65. I learn something new every day and forget 5 others.

A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.

I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

November 5, 2017 was the end of Daylight Savings Time.  Hope you didn't forget to set your bathroom scale back ten pounds that Saturday night.

Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

Hello from Fort Lauderdale

Hi to you folks back in Winnipeg. I am writing (some of this note) to you from the pool where we are staying in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. We chose this particular resort because it was close to our relatives - sister and niece who have an eight-month-old that my wife, Drinda, can hardly wait to hold.

As I look around the pool at the resort where we are staying, I realize I am having an inside look at what upper middle class Americans and Canadians do in the winter months. Drinda and I are just staying a week but are getting a feel for what this "Snowbird" lifestyle is all about. It's kind of okay!

The second day we decided to take two fitness classes. A "Stretch class" for addled and old people (like us) that uses tambourines, canes, top hats and up-tempo music to get us moving and to have fun. Later we took an "Aqua class" run by "Alex the drill sergeant". He kept us moving in the water with his barked orders and sense of humour.

Another afternoon we spent listening to a presentation on "how to save a fortune on resort stays by spending $15,000 to $50,000 (an oxymoron). Yes it was the usual pitch that many of us have experienced when going south of the border, particularly Vegas or any major resort. I don't know who buys this stuff, but I made it eminently clear I just came for the buffet! We received our $100 gift credit card and headed to the nearest restaurant before the invisible ink dried.

Next door to our resort is a beautiful golf course that I keep eyeing every time I look out of our window.  "One of these days", I keep thinking.

Next day, I'm here; I'm on the golf course next-door. I have my sun block on, my Tilley hat and my designer sunglasses (ok I bought them cheap at the mall); I'm all set for a great round. The course is very challenging, particularly for a 75 year old who hasn't swung a club in five months. I played the round with a wonderful couple from... somewhere! 14 of the 18 holes have water on one or both sides, and signs that said, "Alligator sighting", but I never saw one!

Those signs reminded me of the time when my son Brad and I were golfing in Orlando and I hit a ball into the deep rough/bush and went looking for it. I came across dozens of golf balls just out of easy reach. "Mm!" Easy pickings I thought. So being from Manitoba and slightly frugal, I started to reach toward the balls and I heard a very agitated scream. "Get your _ _ _ out of there" yelled my son. I took a step back and he pointed to a sign I conveniently neglected to see, "Stay out--home of alligators and poisonous snakes". I chuckled as I thought about this experience and made my way around the Bonaventure golf course in Fort Lauderdale. The lesson must have stuck because I, with much discipline, did not stray from the fairway to look for golf balls the entire remainder of the game.

On the fourth day of our holiday I got a little sick and had to drag myself to the walk-in clinic at the famous Cleveland Hospital. Not sure how long I will have to keep working to pay for this visit to a US hospital. Not to worry, I don't need a tag day quite yet as I remembered to purchase travel insurance before we left home.

The original plan was for my son Brad to meet me in Fort Lauderdale and spend the second week of the holiday together golfing. Drinda gets to be with baby and I get to go golfing. Brad's work prevented him from being able to come and I headed off to the Sawgrass Inn & Convention Centre Hotel, while Drinda headed off to her niece's.

To say that the Sawgrass experience was slightly below my expectation would be a gross understatement. The refrigerator had to be at least 30 years old, no coffee pot, and the pool for the first three days was full of leaves and looked yucky. The workout room had not been aired out in at least three months and the exercise equipment was from the 1970s. You might say I was a tad disappointed in the Sawgrass Inn.

Unfortunately, it got worse! All local TV stations began showing clips of students running away from their school. Interviews with students began popping up over the next several hours and into the next morning. 17 remarkable young people snuffed out in the prime of their lives by a mentally disturbed person reported to be an ex-student of that school.

Over the next several days I met a number of people, at the gas station, around the pool and Seven Eleven, whom I had a conversation with about this tragedy. They expressed such shock that it "happened in our community." My response to one person was, "Why would you be shocked? There have been 18 incidences in the US already this year where three or more people have been gunned down by assault-type rifles." Personally I don't believe this will change as long as politicians can be bought by the NRA.

Jay, my brother-in-law and I did get two good games of golf in together. The night before we went home I joined Drinda and the family for a wonderful barbecue and swim in their pristine heated pool (I just love heated pools). Then it was off to tropical Toronto and a six-hour wait extended by two more hours before we got home to Winterpeg. I always look forward to going away on a holiday and I'm always glad to get home-truly!

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, depend on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.

Crime in Canada is in Fast-fall Mode-But Why?

Canada is fast becoming a safer place, largely because huge numbers of those aged 18 to 24, the group most responsible for the largest share of crimes in the country, were staying out of trouble. Theories include better security from improved locks, close-circuit television, home alarm systems and more police on the streets.

There is another theory about why crime is dropping and that has to do with videogames.
According to the Entertainment Software Association of Canada, nearly two-thirds of adults aged 18 to 34 play video games, while among children and teens, that figure reaches 18 per cent.
This overwhelming preoccupation with video gaming and other electronic technologies may be keeping kids and young adults off the streets and out of trouble.

The rapid explosion of technology has brought with it a litany of problems -obesity, dwindling attention spans, fatal accidents caused by texting, Internet addiction breaking up families, cyber bullying, and an epidemic of smartphone thefts. (Interestingly, the camera on these phones has served as a deterrent to crime.) The fact is that our young people are practicing technology instead of honing their criminal skills, and thus the drop in the crime statistics.

Reader Response
There may be some of your readers who, like myself, are unable or find it difficult to read the printed version of your newsletters. There is an audio alternative.
On an Apple I Phone I use voiceover to listen to your newsletters. In most cases you simply open the newsletter, click the home button 3 times to turn on voiceover, touch the top line of the newsletter and swipe down with 2 fingers. Voiceover will read the newsletter start to finish.
Now as we all know technology is never that simple. I would be happy to assist anyone who has problems using the audio option.         Ken

I will pass your request on to Ken if you contact me

Have a great week!