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Dr. Dan's "That's How I See It!" Vol. #111


 “A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles

than any wonder drug.” Patricia Neal

 What’s on Tap: Social Media Help!; The Difference Between Counselling and Therapy; The Importance of Sleep; Humour: Don’t Let This Happen to You; Just for Today.

I ran part of this "call for help" in the last edition and received a very limited response. So this week, in regards to the launch of my book in February, let me reiterate, “I especially need help with Social Media--Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Snapchat, Twitter, LinkedIn. Can you get me started?” –I would like a volunteer, but I will pay for this help!!!

Analysis of Competition

 Books that have a similar style to my book, “Communication & Relationships”, include “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…” by Dr. Richard Carlson, Hyperion; “Chicken Soup For The Soul” by Jack Canfield and Mark Hansen, Health Communications; and “Living On The Couch” by Dr. Irving D. Yalom, Basic Books. Dr. Yalom’s book comes particularly to mind because he writes about the same topics as I do--the happenings in therapy. He is a master storyteller and writes for therapists. I write for ordinary people who need to discover different ways of improving their relationships and lives. Being a fly on the wall in the therapist’s office holds great fascination for people; they seek to read in this area as well. The potential for learning different options to dealing with their own issues is enormously enticing.

Did you know?

 According to Australia’s McCrindle research, “only 51% of women under 30 can’t cook a roast compared with 82% of baby boomers.”

As far as gardening goes, “only 23% of millennial women can grow a plant from a cutting with 78% of older women saying this is a breeze.”

The Difference Between Counselling And Therapy?

 It is an often asked question, so let me go back to an old paper I wrote while working on my doctorate that attempts to answer that question. These are some snippets from that paper.

 The counselling movement began in the 1950's as a reaction to the then popular “adjustment crisis” movement. (Thank goodness the definition of counselling has expanded greatly since then.) Psychotherapy comes from a clinical medical model designed for dealing with mental illness.

 Psychotherapists view the client very much in terms of their past; counsellors are more present and future oriented. The goal of counselling is to aid normal people to a higher level of functioning by increasing maturity and promoting normal development and adjustment. Psychotherapy, on the other hand, is usually described as involving more serious crisis situations for dealing with patients who are neurotic and pathological. A restructuring of the personality is often thought to be required in those situations and so requires a longer-term and more intense effort.

 Counselling is a helping relationship between a counsellor and a client, in which the counsellor attempts to help the client reach a goal or solve a problem by learning new ways of dealing with life situations or roles. This is mainly accomplished by helping the client develop and learn sound decision processes. The client is viewed as not being mentally ill, but as an equal partner in setting goals. A major objective of counselling is to aid a person to utilize their potential and to become a fully functioning individual as s/he progresses and develops. It emphasizes the present developing into the future and, as such, is concerned mainly with what exists now. It is not concerned with restructuring the personality, but rather with the whole person and the environment.

 Psychotherapy is a special form of interaction between the therapist and client. The patient seeks help in dealing with psychological problems. The therapist’s role is to structure the interaction using some framework in which s/he has been trained to change the thoughts, feelings, and behaviours of the patient. In some cases, this may involve a massive restructuring of personality. The therapist is viewed as being more confident and having higher status than the patient. 

 The Importance of Sleep

 Just how important is sleep? There are hundreds of studies linking sleep loss to increased risks of all kinds of physical, emotional and intellectual impairments, from depression and suicidal thoughts to increased pain sensitivity and inflammation; from memory failures to a weakened ability to judge subtle social cues.

 A study from the Durham VA Medical Centre in North Carolina of more than 1600 military veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan found that those who had sleep disturbances were at a higher risk of having suicidal thoughts.

 There is also emerging evidence of a link between sleep loss and obesity. An increase in sleep duration to seven or eight hours could lower the prevalence of adolescent obesity by 4%. Those who slept less than six hours per night had an 89% increase in their odds of being obese, and a 28% increase in their odds of being diabetic.

 Sleep deprivation affects the hormones that control appetite. As sleep decreases, the hormone that makes you feel full -leptin- goes down meanwhile, the levels of the hormone ghrelin-which tells your body to eat more-goes up. Sleep should be used alongside diet and exercise to combat America’s rapid weight gain.

 Inadequate sleep in children has been linked to hyperactivity and even the incorrect diagnosis of attention deficit disorder. Sleep loss affects their hormones and their moods.

 The best sleep is aligned with the body’s natural sleep cycles, known as Ceridian rhythms, which make us sleepy at night and alert in the morning. If you are getting your sleep at the wrong Ceridian time, your sleep will be of decreased quality. The misalignment of your internal clock and your work shift is a risk factor for poor health outcomes. The sleep-wake cycle can be stimulated by natural light. Light is the most powerful time-giver for your brain. It makes you happy, more alert, and signals the biological clock and trains it.

 “Bud” Light at the wrong time can disrupt the body’s natural cycles.

 We should avoid bright lights late at night, but that’s not what we’re doing. We have this light pollution in the evening before bedtime from iPhones, iPads and electronics. We should avoid that. If we get too much light at night, it signals our clock to delay. That means we can’t fall asleep and we can’t wake refreshed.

 Dr. Rebecca Robillard, sleep researcher at First Sydney in Australia, says, “It sounds paradoxical, but the biological clock that regulates sleep-wake cycle sits on top of a nerve that links the eye and the brain. It is what sends the signal to the body to create melatonin, the sleep-promoting hormone. By getting light in the morning, we set the clock. The amount of light we get from outdoors, even on a cloudy day, is much more powerful than anything we get indoors.”

 The latest research shows that humans inherit their response to sleep deprivation, and whether they are more or less sensitive to its effects. (Luiza Savage, MacLeans)

Did you know?

 In 2017 it was estimated that workplace stress cost the US economy $375 billion.


 This is something that happened at an assisted living centre.

The people who live there have small apartments but they all eat at a central cafeteria. One morning, one of the residents didn't show up for breakfast so my wife went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK. She could hear him through the door and he said that he was running late and would be down shortly, so she went back to the dining area. An hour later he still hadn't arrived so she went back up towards his room and she found him on the stairs. He was coming down the stairs but was having a hell of time. He had a death grip on the handrail and seemed to have trouble getting his legs to work right. She told him she was going to call an ambulance but he told her no, he just wanted his breakfast. So she helped him the rest of the way down the stairs and he had his breakfast. When he tried to return to his room he was completely unable to get up even the first step so they called an ambulance for him. A couple of hours later she called the hospital to see how he was doing. The receptionist there said he was fine; he just had both of his legs in one leg of his boxer shorts. I am sending this to my children so that they don't sell the house before they know the facts.

 Did you know?

 The two-career family is now the norm and the stay-at-home wife is the exception.

Four out of 10 Americans work largely evenings, weekends, night shifts, or other non-traditional schedules, thus making things worse for families.

 Just for Today

 Just for today - I will live through the next 12 hours and not try to tackle all of life's problems at once.

 Just for today - I will improve my mind. I will learn something useful. I will read something that requires thought and concentration.

-Just for today - I will be agreeable. I will look my best, speak in a well-modulated voice, and be courteous and considerate.

 Just for today - I will not find fault with friend, relative orcolleague. I will not try to change or improve anyone but myself.

 Just for today - I will do a good turn and keep it a secret. If anyone finds out, it won't count.

 Just for today - I will have a program. I might not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two enemies - hurry and indecision.

          Just for today - I will do two things l don't want to do, justbecause I need the discipline.

 Just for today - I will believe in myself. I will give my best to the world and feel confident that the world will give its best to me.

 Have a good week and remember, " Until I accept my faults I will most certainly doubt my virtues.”         Hugh Prather