"Notes" #44

Presently I do a lot of work with Irrational Belief Systems (e.g. I must be loved by everyone and everyone must love everything I do; I must be intelligent, competent and capable at all times and in everything I do --just a few of the irrational belief myths identified by Dr. Albert Ellis-Next week I'll have a complete list of Dr. Ellis's irrational beliefs.) I mention Dr. Ellis and his Irrational Beliefs System as a way of introducing my own huge irrational therapeutic belief.

Many moons ago, and I do mean many, as a young therapist approaching a session I thought I had to have all the answers, that it was my responsibility to improve communication, to neutralize enmeshed relationships, to reframe symptoms, provide solutions, direct perspectives and motivate clients to work at things between sessions. Helpful to is definitely not the same as responsible for.

I now approach sessions without invested outcomes in mind, and a successful session is not based on getting what I think the outcome should be. Of course, I like to be helpful, but if the client chooses not to be helped, that's okay! They are doing what they think is best for them. I am curious about the method they choose to take care of themselves, but again, I am not responsible for changing that or finding the "correct" answer/method to solve their issue. What ever is supposed to happen will happen and I am not "in charge" of making it happen. I am a conduit.

           Just stay in the present and good things will happen.

Clients know that I care about them; they can see it in my eyes and in my body posture. They can hear it in my voice. They know that I love working with them and that I won't judge them. But neither will I be responsible for their choices. DR

The point of good therapy is not to direct or get rid of anything but to help it transform.
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Consider not: What can I expect from life?
                                  but rather
                      What is life expecting of me?

Consider not: What is the meaning of life?
                                  but rather
                      What does life mean to me?
Are you willing to take responsibility to make life what you think it ought to be?

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When I was a young person in public school, many centuries ago, there were no diagnoses of "special needs" and the necessary programs that assist our kids today. However, we did have a fairly high drop-out rate by grade 12

We have come a long way in identifying and assisting those with special needs.
ADHD being one of those medical conditions.

ADHD is not a learned behaviour.
                      ADHD is not a discipline problem.
                      ADHD is not a spoiled child.
                      ADHD is not a temper tantrum.
                      ADHD is not a choice.
ADHD is not the 'easy way out'.
                      ADHD is a medical condition.
                      ADHD is a chemical imbalance.
                      ADHD is a big deal.
                      ADHD is a battle for self-confidence.
                      ADHD is a fight to maintain focus.
                      ADHD is a war between brain & body.
                      ADHD is real.